How Important Are Looks?

How important are looks? Let me put it this way. After doing initial research for this chapter, it was a tough choice between plastic surgery or suicide. First, let's get the bad news out of the way for those of us, male or female, who are less than a 10 in the looks department. Looks count! Remember in high school when you asked about a blind date's looks and your best friend said, "Oh, she's got a great personality" or "He's a really nice guy." The kiss of death, right? Yes, looks count on first meeting, especially to men. However, looks are a perception, and we can manipulate perceptions. What God cheated us out of in the looks department, we can make up for through clever techniques that have a lot more to do with your Quarry's first impressions of you (your body language, self-image, and communications skills) than they do with makeup.

What do we consider good-looking? It varies, of course, from culture to culture. In our country, thin is in. (Not so for the Sirono women from Bolivia who constantly gorge themselves to become a nice fat armful for their men.) American men prefer to kiss slightly curved Cupid's-bow lips. (Not so for Ubangis, who put saucers in their lips to stretch them out like pancakes.)Different standards of beauty prevail around the world, but one thing remains constant. Mother Nature plays a role in telling us who's hot and who's not. Even in modern-day America, women like a man with strong features who looks like he would be a good, caring provider. Men like a woman who looks like she is sexy and could bear healthy children. Studies tell us precisely what is in vogue.

What Type of Looks Do Women Like?
Here is what a group of researchers found that women most liked in a man's face:
Women are attracted to men whose appearances elicit their nurturant feelings; who appear to possess sexual maturity and dominance characteristics; who seem sociable, approachable and of high social status . . . Individuals who display an optimal combination of neotenous (boyish) features of large eyes, the mature features of prominent cheekbones and a large chin, the expressive feature of a big smile, and high-status clothing were seen more attractive than other men. What type of body do women like? American women generally prefer men of average build, but bigger above the waist than below. The studies tell us they prefer V's to pears. However, taste varies depending on the class of the woman judging the male anatomy. Women on the lower end of
the socioeconomic totem pole prefer muscle men. Conversely, highly paid professional women find hefty beefcake downright distasteful. They go for the dark, slim, and sensitive body types.

hat about height? One assumes the taller the better because our culture venerates height. In fact, practically every president elected in the United States since 1900 was the taller of the two candidates. The Wall Street Journal reported that taller graduating college students (6'2" and over) received an average starting salary 12.4 percent higher than those who were under six feet tall. Yet, in the sexual arena, apparently taller isn't better. Women of all sizes—short, medium, and tall—rated a variety of men equal in all features except height. The medium sizers won. Gentlemen, speaking of size (yes, the size of it), the only source I can turn to is a recent article in a popular woman's magazine called "Is Big Really Better?" The article equivocated (lest readers' husbands get hold of the article and be emotionally destroyed). However, a photograph accompanying the article left the question open. Two attractive women were shown rolling on the floor in hysterics as one of their friends held up a baby finger.

What Type of Looks Do Men Like?
When answering researchers' questions about women's looks, men were less articulate. A typical answer was, "Uh, gee, well, you know [grunt, grunt], uh, good-looking." However, a group of resolute scientists plodded on and zeroed in on what the average male considers attractive. Yes, thin is definitely in. For women especially. In an analysis of singles' ads, researchers discovered, out of twenty-eight desirable qualities, thinness topped the list for men. Again, this varied with the class and personality of the man. More extroverted and lower-class men choose large-breasted, wide-hipped women. More introverted and upper-class males choose smaller-framed women. A group of men from various classes was shown photos of large-breasted nudes in typical pinup poses along with some pictures of more fully clothed attractive women. The results were as expected when the men were asked which they would like for a roll in the hay. However, when questioned on which they would prefer as a wife, both upper- and lower-class men

chose the more clothed woman. Many of the upper-class men even preferred the clothed lady for a roll in the hay (or a tryst in the backseat of their Mercedes). Unfortunately, the studies weren't any more enlightening on the specific facial features men like. This is probably because, like in all other aspects of their lives, men don't pay as much attention to detail as women do. There was a time when our culture was obsessed with symmetry. No longer. And, in times gone by, men wanted women in the lighter ranges of their own ethnic coloring. Women preferred just the opposite. Darker-hued men got top points. However, as our melting pot boils faster, the old blond-haired, blue-eyed, angel-faced beauty standard is rapidly changing. Some of today's top beauties are very different from that stereotypical idea. Now it's the look. Fortunately, if you weren't born with the look, you can get it—with a little brains, some imagination, and a makeup bag. The only generalization we can make on looks is that both sexes prefer people with a clear complexion, a slender body, shiny hair, straight white teeth, and clear eyes—in other words, healthy.

First Impressions Last Forever

The first moment your Quarry lays eyes on you has awesome potency. The picture burns its way into his or her eyes and can stay emblazoned in your Quarry's memory forever. I have a dear friend, an older gentleman named Gerald, who is very sought after in the social scene of his hometown. He is a charming escort for several elderly ladies who long ago lost their husbands. Gerald met these women when they were all in high school together back in the late 1940OS. His women friends are inwardly beautiful; however, physically, several have gained weight and have long since lost their youthful attractiveness. Once, at a party, I overheard a rude man tease Gerald about his taste in women. My friend was genuinely confused at the tactless remark."But they are all beautiful!" Gerald exclaimed. He reached into his wallet and pulled out an old, dog-eared black-and-white photograph of his high school homecoming queen and her court. "See?" Gerald said to the man. Two of the three ladies he was currently escorting were in the photo. One of them was the homecoming queen.

To this day, Gerald sees his lady friends as beautiful as they were back in 1948. Such is the power of first impressions. Image consultants are paid housands of dollars to pontificate in boardrooms across America, "You never get a second chance to make a first impression." The adage has been given the exalted status of a proverb: "First impressions are most lasting." So what else is new? What's new is this: Even as we enter the 21st century, we don't really comprehend the unbelievable compass and consequence of first impressions. Or on what lilliputian details they are sometimes based. Gentlemen, one backward baseball cap or gold chain flashing through the hair on your chest can make or break a budding relationship with the lady before you even say "hi." Ladies, one quarter of a turn away when he ventures "hello," can turn the handsome prince back into a frightened frog.

Be Ready for Love—Always!

If first impressions are so crucial and a Potential Love Partner makes the "go/no go" decision within seconds of spotting you, here's the big question: Why do people looking for love spend so much time making themselves attractive when they go out on a date but so little when they take the dog to the vet? By the time you have the date, your Quarry's first impression of you has already been set. How you look on the date is, of course, important. But it's not nearly as decisive as his or her first glimpse of you. You don't realize it, but here's the sad truth: You have probably let dozens of PLPS get away in recent months just because your trap wasn't set—you weren't fixed up for the kill. Hunters, that means you weren't dressed for the part. Huntresses, that means you weren't groomed properly.

Research shows that for men, clothes are more crucial to first impressions. For women, it's her body and face. Huntresses, you may well ask, "Is makeup all that important?" Let's go to the studies. Researchers asked men to talk with six different women who sometimes wore makeup, sometimes didn't. Their study, "Lipstick as a Determiner of First Impressions of Personality," revealed that the male opinion of each woman was very different when she wore lipstick.

Women, how many times, sauntering down the street without your makeup, have you spotted Handsome Stranger, who doesn't even look your way? If he's a typical male attracted by rosy lips and nice big eyes, what do you expect? Men, how many times, in your grungy clothes, have you tried to talk to Lovely Lady on the bus who gives you a cursory answer and looks away? If she's a
typical woman attracted by an air of competence and success.

DRESS FOR "THE KILL"—EVERYWHERE
Men, this does not mean you have to don your
three-piece suit to buy the newspaper. Women, it does
not mean you need to slap on three coats of mascara to
walk the dog. What it does mean is whenever you step
out the door, step out dressed to kill . . . your Quarry.

We get lazy about first impressions due to the reinforcement theory. Say you fix yourself up for the kill. You go out to walk the dog three times, four times, looking like a traffic stopper, and nothing happens. So you say, "Hey, this doesn't work." In my sales seminars, I tell participants that the average sale is not made until after the fifth sales call. Give it some time. Can't you wait five more dog-walks for your future beloved to say, "Nice doggy. What's his name? And, by the way, what's yours?"

Stay Psychologically ''Fit to Kill" Not only should you be physically ready, you must keep your mental doors open to let love walk in . . . wherever you are. PLPS don't just enter your life from parties and singles' clubs. Cindy is an attractive young manicurist who has been doing my nails for several years. (There must be some drug in nail polish remover that dissolves women's inhibitions and induces them to spill every detail of their lives as they hold hands across the manicure table.) For months Cindy had been griping to me that, in her line of work, all she meets is women.

I had a late appointment with Cindy one evening about six o'clock. She was telling me how, after a long day of clipping, filing, and painting, she's too tired to go out to singles' bars to try to meet someone. At about 6:45 P.M., the door opened behind Cindy's back. We heard a deep male voice say, "Excuse me, I know it's terribly late. But is it possible to get a manicure?" I looked up over Cindy's shoulder and beheld a Greek god. (I had no idea such deities needed manicures!) Before I could pull my jaw back up, Cindy, not even turning around, said, "Nope, we close in ten minutes." "How do ya like that?" she grumbled, keeping her gaze fixed on my hangnail as he walked out. "Who does he think he is to march in here at this hour and expect a manicure?" Then, Cindy's ears, finely tuned to such trappings as expensive sports cars, heard a Jaguar revving up outside her window. She jumped up to look, and there was her Adonis careening out of the parking lot, and out of her life, forever in his sleek chariot. She didn't stop kicking herself long enough for me to respectfully suggest that one should keep one's eyes open all the time for such opportunities. Top producers in the sales profession never stop prospecting—in the dentist's office, in the copy shop, at the pizzeria. One salesman friend of mine clinched a multi million-dollar corporate insurance deal with another nude man he met in his health club Jacuzzi. You can, as the old song says, "find a million-dollar baby in a five-and-ten-cent store."

STAY PSYCHOLOGICALLY "FIT TO KILL"
Big-game hunters lay bear traps even before they spot
the bear. Fishermen cast nets long before the swarm
swims their way. If you set your psychological trap the
minute your feet hit the floor in the morning, chances are
the next big one won't get away.

Now you are physically and mentally ready for love. The next question is, "How can I make my Quarry's insides go all funny when he or she meets me?" Let's start with two of the most potent weapons you need to trigger love at first sight. They're right above your nose. Many people swear, "I fell in love the moment I looked into my lover's eyes."